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Bulimic and Unhappy

by Raine Leep
(South Carolina)

If there's a word for how I used to be, it'd be the word "fat". In elementary school, I was pretty large. By the second grade I was already 80 pounds which is definitely not normal for a 7 year old girl. I hadn't really thought about losing weight then, no elementary school student would. But as I hit middle school, I realized that it would be a completely different story. I wasn't picked on often, but when I did get picked on, it hurt. It was basically the most embarrassing moments of my life.

By 6th grade, I was 160 pounds and only 5'2. I had a very irregular body shape and had such a difficult time fitting into the clothes that all my friends were wearing. I had chosen to not do a thing about it until the summer of 7th grade. I was at 185, by this time.I started out with self starvation during the day and then eating at night. I ended up losing about 20 pounds in a month. But after awhile this stopped working and I resorted to using laxatives after I ate any food. This merely maintained my weight and allowed me to lose about 10 pounds. It still wasn't enough for me.

I became bulimic. I ate large amounts if food, absolutely anything I wanted. And then went to the restroom to finish the task...I lost weight this way. It was unhealthy and I felt stupid and angry after. I am still bulimic. I want help but there is no one to turn too.

Comments for Bulimic and Unhappy

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Bulimia help NEW
by: Anonymous

An eating disorder is about the worst thing you will ever EVER have to deal with. I would know because I am in recovery right now. I am 15 and I have always been overweight. The summer before I went Ito highschool I decided to lose weight, so i started eating alot less and exercising. I lost some weight but not enough, so when school started I began to eat only extremely low-calorie, low low low fat food. I had an apple for breakfast of anything before school and usually skipped lunch. After school I would rush through dinner only having a little before going to dance. I have been a dancer my whole life but always overweight. It was always hard seeing myself in the mirror and I wanted to change it. By the middle of the school year in march I was a skeleton. Believe it or not even though I loved feeling skinny AT LAST by the time my weight had dropped to a serious number I was really self conscious in revealing clothes. My friends at dance said something to y mom and then she started feeding me more. By the summer my mom took me to a doctor one day and the doctor started talking to me about eating disorders. I was diagnosed a couple weeks later. That whole summer was the most miserable of my life. The first thing that was restored was my weight--- and very very miserably quickly. It is now November and my weight has only been increasing and I am still in therapy and lots of intense family care. I am not healed yet. Even if your weight is not low at all you could have an eating disorder and it messes up your brain SO much. And your periods. If you're having trouble with your weight PLEASEPLEASE tell your mom and lose it the right way. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. If you have an eating disorder it is INPOSSIBLE to get out of it on your own, no matter your weight. This is SERIOUS and even if you have only been purging for a short time can do major long-term damage, like osteoporosis and infertility. Please please get help. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but it is. Do some research on eating disorders. The F.E.A.S.T. Website has very accurate info. Good luck.

You are not alone
by: Anonymous

This is the exact same situation I'm in. I was overweight all through elementary school and lost all of the weight going into high school through starvation and bulimia. I still have bulimia and I can't stop it. It is so hard to get help because people just don't understand.

Body Image Lies...
by: Anonymous

You might want to check out this article on Body image lies:


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